10 Questions to Ask on Hinge (If You Want a Serious Relationship)
Looking for tips on what questions to ask on Hinge? Well, you're in the right place. Check out our list in this article for more!
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So… you want something serious without being too serious.
I hear ya!
Online dating should be light and fun, even if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
After all, no one wants to keep talking to a match if they start to sound like the head of HR!
It’s all about asking the right questions, and asking them in a fun way. And in this article, I’ll guide you on how to do just that.
Here are 10 not-so-serious questions you can ask on Hinge to see if someone’s interested in—and capable of—building a serious relationship with you.
#1. “What brings you here?”
If you’re looking for an LTR, then why waste your precious time on those who OBVIOUSLY just want hook-ups?
Weed them out!
One effective way to do this is by asking “What brings you here?”
Sure, there’s a “Looking for” section on Hinge, but intentions can change—and some might even bend the truth just to get more matches (so annoying).
What I like about this question is that it can give us a deeper insight on what someone is really looking for right now.
The ones who are clearly NOT looking for something serious could say something like:
“Oh, I’m just looking for some fun.”
Or "I just ended a 10-year relationship, so I'm not rushing into another."
Or they could outright say “I’m just looking for a hookup.”
Nothing wrong with their intentions, of course! But if you’re serious about looking for a meaningful relationship, it’s best to say adieu to them so you can focus on looking for the right match.
#2. “How do you spend your weekends?”
You can learn a lot about someone by how they spend their weekends.
I like this question because it’s pretty much like the "Dating me is like” prompt, except that you don’t have to be overly witty.
It’s a simple question but it gives us a glimpse of their general lifestyle.
For example, if they respond with, “I usually wake up around 2 PM because I go bar hopping with friends on Friday nights,” take a moment to consider if this is the kind of lifestyle you’d want in a long-term partner.
And if they say, “On Sundays, I go to church,” consider how important that is for you. It could be a plus if you’re religious, but a bad thing if you’re an atheist.
When I first asked my now-boyfriend this question four years ago on a dating app, I loved his response.
He said he usually spends his weekends running in the morning, playing music in the afternoon, and cooking a feast at night. I remember saying, “Well, I want those things too!”
Now, when I ask him what he likes about us, he always says, “I enjoy our simple life together.” This just goes to show that this question is a solid way to gauge compatibility!
#3. “Is that your cat in your profile pic?”
Of course, only if they have a photo with a cat!
If it’s a pic of them playing guitar, you can ask, “Are you in a band?”, and so on.
So, why is this a good question to ask?
Well, it’s a warm opening line.
It shows you actually took the time to check out their profile! That alone suggests you’re not just swiping randomly, which can send the message that you are serious about finding a connection.
When it comes to online dating, how you choose an opening line is extremely important. Many potential connections have been missed because of sloppy first messages.
One trick that always works—for me and my friends, at least—is to comment on something in their profile. Lately, though, my male friends have been using custom opening lines from YourMove Texting Assistant, and they’ve noticed better response rates than with my “Is that your cat?” technique.
What can I say? AI is getting pretty clever, even when it comes to flirting! If you're struggling with opening lines or keeping a conversation going, it’s definitely worth a try.
#4. What’s your idea of perfect happiness?
Here’s another question to gauge compatibility.
If their idea of happiness involves living on a boat, and you prefer the city…
If they feel complete if they have three kids, and you want to remain child-free…
If they don’t want to get married, but you absolutely do…
Then you have something to think about!
These are important differences to consider if you’re looking for something serious. So while they might not be glaring talking stage red flags—since things can still change—they're definitely worth noting.
And if after a date or two, they’re still firm of what they want in life, then it might be time to move on.
#5. “What’s something you want to change in yourself?”
My friends call me an O.L.D. expert because they think I have some “sixth sense” when it comes to finding the right partner.
What they don’t realize is that I just know how to ask the right questions (without coming on too strong).
I like to ask this particular question because aside from knowing their struggles and weaknesses, it also reveals:
1.) If they have insecurities. I often notice this when they get defensive or don’t share much about themselves.
2.) Whether they’re self-aware, which is one of the top traits I look for in a long-term partner.
3.) What they dislike in others. Often, the traits we dislike in ourselves are the same ones we dislike in others.
HOT TIP: To avoid turning them off, and *gasp* to avoid getting ghosted, you shouldn’t sound like you’re interrogating them. How? By sharing YOUR own answer first.
You might say something like:
“Hey, is there something you’d like to change about yourself? I recently asked myself this, and the first thing I want to change is my lack of a filter. Sometimes, I say things that aren’t very nice! But I’m working on improving that.”
Hopefully this will help them get more comfortable and open up!
#6. “What’s something you want to change in others?”
Knowing what someone DOESN’T LIKE can reveal more about a person than knowing what they like. It shows what irks them, and it can help you gauge your compatibility.
For example, if they say, “I wish smokers would just stop smoking!” and you smoke, you’ll get a sense of what your relationship might be like.
It can also help you find out whether your worldviews align.
If they say, “I wish people who support abortion would just shut up,” you’ll have a clearer idea of whether your values match.
You don’t even have to ask the more difficult (and potentially off-putting) question, “What are your values?”—because this question can reveal a lot!
#7. “Do you enjoy doing chores?”
According to research, sharing household chores is crucial for a happy marriage. In fact, the study reveals that it’s even more important than having a decent income or having children!
So yes, this question is very important!
If they haven’t mentioned anything about cleaning their apartment or cooking during your conversations, you might want to ask, “Do you enjoy doing chores?”
If they respond with “Nah, I’m too busy” or “I must admit I’m lazy,” take note.
We don’t have to love doing chores—I personally dislike it most days. But they should at least acknowledge, “I don’t love it, but it’s something that needs to be done.”
Otherwise, you could find yourself struggling with household responsibilities five years down the line!
#8. “How do you define cheating?”
This is a question that can make anyone go “Hmmnn…interesting!”
I like it because it’s less confrontational than asking, “Have you cheated before?” or “Are you monogamous or polyamorous?”
But their answer, even if it’s indirect, can reveal a lot—from their preferred relationship model to their expectations of you and how they view relationships in general.
Understanding this is crucial if you’re seeking a serious relationship, so it’s best to ask before you dive any deeper.
#9. “How much do you care about climate change?”
“PSH! Do we really have to be social justice warriors?”
I know, I know. But before you roll your eyes, hear me out! This question can actually make you uncover a lot about someone.
I often ask this to people I meet on dating apps, not to ask them to sign a petition, but because it opens the door to important relationship topics!
Talking about climate can give you an opportunity to know:
- Whether they want kids (since children can impact the planet).
- If they’re a spender or a saver (those who care about the environment often buy less).
- If they care about the world (people who care about the climate tend to care about other issues).
Of course, if these topics aren’t a priority for you, that’s fine (honestly, I don’t always focus on them either!). But trust me—this question can uncover significant aspects of a person, so it’s worth asking, especially if you’re looking for an LTR!
#10. “Are you looking for something serious?”
If you’ve asked all the previous questions and still aren’t sure if they want the same things as you, it’s time to be direct.
You can choose to ask this before you meet or after the first date.
Personally, I like to wait until after one date to bring it up—that’s just because I want to keep a little bit of romance!
If you’re just a few meters away from each other, I strongly recommend meeting up and just asking this question IRL.
While texts can provide some insight, people often reveal more about themselves in person.
Besides, if you really have a strong chemistry, they might just surprise you with their answer!
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Dating on Hinge (or any dating app) can be both exciting and daunting—especially when you’re seeking something serious while still wanting to have fun!
Just remember, it’s all about finding that balance: keeping the convos light while also discussing important topics that can help you assess if you’re a good match.
If you’re chatting with someone on Hinge, try these 10 questions to figure out if they’re also looking for something serious.
And please, please, please report back to us! We can’t wait to hear your results!
