How to End a Relationship (Don’t just ghost!)

Breaking up is tough. But staying with someone you don’t really like every day for the rest of your life? That’s even worse. It’s always better to end things if you know it won’t work out.

In the world of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, swiping right or left is part of the game. But just because it’s easy to start a conversation online doesn’t mean ending a relationship is easy. It’s like unfollowing someone on Instagram – simple in theory but emotionally complex in practice.

But no matter what, don’t ghost! Ghosting might seem like the easy way out, but it’s not the respectful or mature way to end things. Here’s how to break up with someone, especially if it’s someone you love, with dignity and consideration.

Reflect on Your Decision

Before taking any steps, take time to reflect on your decision. This is especially important if you’re figuring out how to break up with someone you love. Ask yourself:

• Why do I want to end this relationship?

• Is this a temporary feeling or a long-standing issue?

• Have I tried to address the issues with my partner?

Writing down your thoughts and the red flags you see can be very helpful. Try to write down the reasons it will not work out on paper so that you don’t eventually give in to the other person’s arguments or your own second thoughts.

See If There’s a Way to Mend the Relationship

Before you make a final decision, consider if there’s a way to mend the relationship. Bring up whatever’s bothering you and have an honest discussion with the other person. Things can still work if they are willing to put in the work. A few steps you can take include:

• Communication: Share your concerns and feelings openly.

• Counseling: Sometimes, professional help can bridge gaps.

• Compromise: Both partners should be willing to make changes.

If these efforts don’t lead to any improvement, it’s a sign that it might be time to move on. In that case, here are examples of text messages you can send to break up.

Prepare Yourself Emotionally

"The only way out is through." — Robert Frost, Servant to Servant

Prepare yourself for the conversation. It’s not going to be easy, but recognize that it’s for the better for both. Breaking up is an emotional process, and you need to be ready to handle your feelings and your partner’s reaction. Consider these steps:

• Talk to a Friend: Share your plan with a close friend for emotional support.

• Practice What to Say: Rehearse the main points you want to cover.

• Stay Firm: Remember why you decided to end the relationship.

Be Honest but Kind

When it’s time to have the conversation, be honest but kind. You don’t need to go into every detail of why you’re breaking up, but you should be clear about your reasons. Try to:

• Use “I” Statements: This helps avoid sounding accusatory. For example, “I feel like we have grown apart.”

• Be Direct: Don’t drag out the conversation unnecessarily. Make your point clear and concise.

• Show Empathy: Acknowledge their feelings and show that you understand this is hard for them too.

ALSO READ: 7 ways easy to text a girl

Avoid Blaming or Shaming

Blaming or shaming your partner will only make the breakup more painful and could lead to back-and-forth arguments. Focus on your feelings and experiences rather than their faults. For example:

• Instead of “You never listen to me,” say, “I feel unheard in our relationship.”

You never want to end things by leaving someone feeling completely defeated. Instead, let them walk away with their dignity intact.

Manage Post-Breakup Communication

After the breakup, it’s essential to manage communication carefully. Some people prefer no contact, while others might need some time to transition to being friends or not.

Decide what works best for you and communicate that clearly. Taking a break from communication is okay to heal or move on. It's an emotional rollercoaster for both of you unless you're heartless about it all. 

Pro tip: Try to not approach a breakup while being vindictive

Want To Be Friends, But They Need Space

After the breakup conversation, give your partner space to process the news. This means avoiding contact for a while, which can help both of you move on. It’s important to respect their need for distance, even if you still care about them.

Take Care of Yourself

Ending a relationship can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Make sure to take care of yourself during this time. Here are a few self-care tips:

• Stay Active: Exercise can help improve your mood
• Stay Connected: Spend time with friends and family
• Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling to cope, a therapist can provide support

Next Steps

Breaking up is hard, but staying with someone you don’t like every day for the rest of your life is even harder. It’s better to let them go if you know things won’t work out.
In today’s dating app culture, breaking up can be a bit easier, especially if you aren’t exclusive yet. See if there’s a way to mend the relationship first. If not, prepare yourself, be honest, and don’t ghost.
Respect and kindness go a long way in making a difficult situation a little bit easier for both parties involved. It's always better to break up in person. But if you can't, it's good to follow some general breakup text rules.

Breaking up is never easy, but handling it with maturity and respect will help you and your soon-to-be ex move in a healthy and positive way.

When You're Ready Again

“That’s all you can do in this world, no matter how strong the current beats against you, or how heavy your burden, or how tragic your love story. You keep going.” — Robyn Schneider

You've taken some time to yourself and gotten back to being enjoyable single you. You're ready to date again. Ready to rizz up someone new and exciting. But do you really want to use the same profile pictures and bio? You've experienced and grown from your last relationship. And grown even since taking the time to be single and think about your life and you as a person. Let your profile bio and profile pictures reflect that. Let YourMove help you out.