Not Getting Past the First Date? 10 Tips To Help You Get A Second Date

Updated on October 15, 2024

All your friends are in stable relationships—laughing, playing, and being romantic around you. Being the 9th wheel at a party isn't very fun, especially if they keep asking you, "Why don't you find someone nice?"

The truth is you're trying, but every first date seems to fizzle out halfway, and there's never a second one.

First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially when you really like someone and want to make a good impression.
If you’ve been struggling to get past the first date, don’t worry!

Here are specific tips to help you become absolutely irresistible.

10 Tips To Help You Get A Second Date

1. Change How You Dress

First impressions matter, and what you wear plays a huge role.

Yes, what matters is what’s on the inside…eventually. Your date is scanning up and down, the second you’re within view on the first date. You want a, “Damnnnn…”, not a, “oh...dammit”.
Check out Pinterest for some men’s fashion inspiration, especially the “old money” style. This classic look is all about sophistication and confidence.
Style yourself in:

Crisp shirts
Tailored pants
Dress Shoes

Put away the Hypebeast sneaker obsession for a night. Dressing well shows that you care about the date and about yourself. It’s a major factor that adds to your unspoken rizz.
Plus, it’s a great conversation starter!

RECOMMENDED: 36 Ways to Respond to "What's Up"

ALSO READ: 55 Conversation Starters for your next Tinder match

2. Pay for Dinner

For the love of dating apps, don’t suggest going 50/50 if you’re really into them. When the bill arrives, offer to pay. It’s a classy move that shows you’re considerate and generous.

You can say, “I’ll get this one, you can pay for the next time,” to hint at a second date. This not only shows that you’re confident but also implies that you’re interested in seeing them again.

3. Try Holding Hands

Physical touch creates a deeper connection. It says a lot without saying anything at all.

Good to remember the why and the how of it:

It’s a sign of chemistry on the first date.
Creates that PG intimacy (helps to keep things PG on the first date).
Just make sure to read their body language and respect their personal space.
Make sure your hands aren’t clammy - No one wants to hand-flirt with clammy palms.

4. Be Interesting and Spontaneous

Don’t be afraid to show your personality! Talk about your hobbies, passions, and interesting experiences. Be spontaneous to be interestingly unpredictable.

Suggest an impromptu walk or a visit to a nearby ice cream shop. Keep the conversation lively and engaging, and you’ll leave a lasting impression.

5. Go for a Walk After Dinner

A walk after dinner is a great way to continue the conversation in a relaxed setting. It gives you both a chance to unwind and connect on a deeper level.

Whether it’s a stroll through the park or along the waterfront, walking side by side can create a sense of companionship.

It pushes both of you to make it easier to talk about meaningful topics.

6. Create Clear Expectations

Be honest about what you’re looking for and why. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, say so. But don’t start jotting down all the possible names for your future kids.

If you’re just having fun and seeing where things go, that’s fine too.

Setting clear expectations helps avoid misunderstandings. Plus, being honest and straightforward will put you ahead of the 99% of men who ghost them. If you don't communicate this early enough, you might get hit with a breakup text when expectations are not met.

7. Don’t Catfish

Always use your latest photos on dating apps and social media. Catfishing, or using old or heavily edited photos, can lead to disappointment and mistrust.
And remember:

Be authentic and present your true self.
If you’re got a little chub, don’t be afraid to show it. It’s something real and different from all the shirtless guys on the apps.
Honesty is attractive and sets the stage for a genuine connection.

8. Use Your Body Language

"Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words." – Deborah Bull

Non-verbal cues can say a lot about how you feel. It’s the in-person unspoken rizz. Smile, maintain eye contact, and lean in slightly when you’re talking. These signs of chemistry on a first date can make you appear more engaged and interested. Positive body language helps create a warm and inviting atmosphere.

9. Listen More Than You Talk

It’s important to show that you’re interested in getting to know them. Ask questions and listen actively to their responses. Listening more than you talk can make the other person feel valued and appreciated. It’s a simple way to show that you’re genuinely interested in them as a person.

10. Ask at the right moment

Timing is everything. If the date is going well and you feel a connection, you can hint at a second date towards the end. Or you can wait to send a follow-up on the date the next day. Let's not use the 72 hour rule and skip the mind games.
You can say something like:

“I’ve really enjoyed tonight. How about we do this again sometime?” - This is for at the end of the date and you strongly feel it was a great date for both of you.
"One date just wasn't enough to get to know you. How about round two?" - Show you want to get to know more and explore the connection further.
“You mentioned you like hiking, maybe we could go together next weekend?” - Shows you were interested and listening. You pay attention to the details.

Remember This

Navigating the first date can be challenging, but with these tips, you’ll be well on your way to becoming irresistible. Remember to be yourself, show genuine interest, and have fun. After all, dating is about connecting with someone and enjoying the moment. So, go out there, be confident, and let your true self shine.