How to Talk Dirty During Sex or on the Phone

Dirty talking is an important part of every hookup or relationship when you want to take things to the next step, both online and in real life.

If you’ve never tried to talk dirty before, you probably don’t know exactly what to say. But, that’s fine because everyone has their dirty side, it just needs to be awakened in the right moment.

Fortunately for you, this article is exactly what you need to activate that dirty side by learning the different methods of talking dirty both online and in real life!

But, first, let’s see why it’s important to talk dirty with your partners!

Why Is It Important to Talk Dirty to Your Partner?

So, what’s the big deal with dirty talking? Why is everyone talking about it like it’s more important than sex? Well, there are several benefits from it, and here are some of them:

Builds Intimacy In Your Relationship

When talking dirty, you often say things that you’ve probably never said and things you’ll never say again in public. This also applies to your partner as well. It’s very intimate, so that’s why dirty talking (both online and in real life) is a way of building intimacy and trust.

Gets Them In The Mood

This is what everyone wants and expects from dirty talks. It’s one of the most effective ways to get someone in the mood. So, if you’re texting and you start talking dirty, the chat will quickly change into sexting.

Once you’re there, you could ask for nudes to make things even more interesting.

Dirty talking in real life will do the same thing. It could turn a boring movie night into a steamy night in the bedroom with only a few words.

Better Communication

Weirdly enough, dirty talking can also greatly improve the overall communication in your relationship. It can act as sort of an icebreaker and make it easier to talk about your feelings or more complicated topics.

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How to Casually Dirty Talk During Sex or Online

So, what exactly should you say if you want to start dirty talking? Well, there are a couple of cues you should follow before you do, so here’s a step-by-step guide for real-life and online dirty talking:

During Sex

Dirty talking in real life is usually harder because it takes a bit of courage. But, but once you’ve built up the courage, you’ll realize it’s actually pretty easy and simple. The person is right in front of you, so you can pair your words with physical touches which leads to better results.

1. Small Compliments

We use this first step to slowly transition into some serious dirty talking. So, start off with small compliments about anything. Don’t worry about how you say it, just think about what you want to say. Don’t force it by trying to be a smooth talker, say it with your own voice!

Example:

• “You look great tonight.”
• “You smell so good.”
• “I can’t stop looking at your eyes.”

If you're having trouble finding the right words to say when you're trying to talk dirty, then using our Chat Assistant might help. It saves you the hassle of thinking and gives you more time for the actual doing.

2. Up The Tension

Now it’s time to start the real dirty talk. You can pull them closer or come in closer. Start getting a bit physical as well to show them your affection. Do this with light touches on their legs, arms, neck, etc.

And let them know you want them with your dirty talk.

Example:

• “I’ve waited for this all week.”
• “You look so hot right now I can’t take it.”

3. Tell Them What You Want

By now it’s pretty obvious that you want them. But, if you want to get them horny and to lust over you, you need to tell them exactly what you want.

Example:

• “I want to kiss your neck.”
• “I want to touch your thighs.”
• “I want to take off your clothes.”

TRY CHECKING: How Can You Compliment a Woman's Eyes?

4. Be A Demanding Lover

Whether you’re a man or a woman, getting dominant with your dirty talk is always a turn-on. So, if you want to make your partner go crazy, start telling them what to do! Don’t be afraid to take the reigns for a couple of minutes.

Example:

• “Get on top of me.”
• “Turn around.”
• “Get down on your knees.”

5. Keep Talking

At this point, both of you should be completely naked in bed, but that doesn’t mean that your dirty talking should stop there. Talking dirty is not just about getting your partner in the mood for sex, but it’s also useful to elevate your sex as well.

So, keep talking, but make sure to keep it simple. Tell them what you feel or ask them how they feel.

Example:

• “You like that?”
• “Do you like it when I do this?”
• “Look me in the eyes.”

READ MORE: How to Make Her Horny

Online

Dirty talking online needs a bit of a different approach because there’s the downside of no physical touch. However, there’s one huge upside as well. It’s that you don’t need as much courage as here. It’s much easier to write the text and then just click “Send” than saying the word yourself.

But, if you want to make sure you say the right things, follow the listed steps below:

1. Start Simple

Just like in real life, we want to start simple. Jumping right in with the dirtiest text will just have the opposite effect, so, try using compliments, suggestive texts, or flirty questions.

Example:

• “You look amazing in your post/story/photo.”
• “How often do you think about me?”
• “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

2. More Suggestive Texts

You want to slowly set the mood for dirty talking, so start amping up the suggestive texts.

Example:

• “I’m in bed thinking about you.”
• “Wish you were here with me in bed.”
• “Just texting with you is getting me turned on.”

ALSO CHECK: Best Seductive Emojis to Use

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Explicit

If they respond well to your suggestive texts, that’s a clear sign they’re also in the mood for a more interesting talk, so don’t be afraid to get a little bit vulgar. So, if you want to land a good dirty pick up line, you’ll need to be explicit.

4. Sexting

The sexual tension should be through the roof by now, and you’re both waiting for someone to say the dirtiest message so you can start sexting for real. You can take charge here and be the one to start the dirty talk.

Example:

• “I want to see you naked right now.”
• “You’ve got me so turned on, you’ll have to do something about it.”

5. Sending Nudes

All dirty talk usually leads to sending nudes, so if you’re deep into sexting, why not ask for nudes or send them yourself? Of course, before doing so, make sure to ask if they feel comfortable with sending these types of pics.

Example:

• “Want me to show you just how turned on I got?”
• “What are you wearing right now? Can you show me?”

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Things to Keep in Mind When Trying to Talk Dirty

Dirty talking is all about saying what you’re feeling in the moment, not about saying the “right thing”. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways!

However, we can give you some directions and tips you can consider to convey your feelings properly.

It’s Not A Performance

Dirty talking usually comes naturally and sometimes, it just doesn’t. You’re not an actor (unless you are), so don’t think of it as a performance. Think of it as a way to share your (horny) feelings with your partner.

If you really can’t come up with a dirty line consider getting help from our Chat Assistant service.

Think About What Gets You Going

If you can’t find the right words for your dirty text, try to think about what gets you going. Think about which words get you horny, or, the things they do that turn you on. That should give you some inspiration on what to say next.

It Won’t Always Work

Knowing how to talk dirty doesn’t mean you’ll magically get your partner in the mood every time. It’s important to understand that it won’t work if they’re not feeling up to it.

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Conclusion

We all have our dirty side and we just need a little bit of confidence to “activate it”. And once you get that confidence, you’ll notice that dirty talking will become easier and easier.

Once you understand the reasons for dirty talking we explained above, the guide to dirty talking, and the various things you should keep in mind, you’ll quickly gain that dirty talking confidence!

And, if you want your online profile to ooze this type of confidence, consider optimizing it with our Profile Review and AI Photos service

If you’re specifically looking to improve your sexts then consider using our AI-powered Dating Assistant! Or, check out our blog for more tips on online and real-life dating.